How does a Grandparent handle food allergies?

My two-year-old grandson can have these chips, right? I check the ingredients list for the third time to reassure myself. But doubt seeps in. Being a grandparent of a child with food allergies is intimidating.

I sigh in frustration and get ready to send a quick text to confirm the chips are on the approved list. My mind swirls. While I’m at it, maybe I should double-check about. . . .

And so it goes. The spiral of anxiety and uncertainty swirls.

What if I inadvertently feed my grandson something he is allergic to? (Check. The epi pen is where it is supposed to be, just in case.)

Kids and allergies. It seems so simple. Just avoid those foods and you’re good to go, right? Not necessarily. Hidden ingredients and additives lurk where we least suspect them.

I know firsthand because 3 of my 7 grandchildren have food allergies. One is easy to manage – no shrimp.

The other two grandkids? Well, they are a bit more complicated.  

Let’s get technical for a minute. My granddaughter, 4, and grandson, 2, have Food Protein-Induced Enterocolitis Syndrome (FPIES). Never heard of it? Neither had I.

The International FPIES Association explains it as a food allergy of the gastrointestinal system. It goes on to say “approximately 2-4 hours after ingesting a trigger food, patients experience profuse vomiting often leading to dehydration which may necessitate the need for emergency fluid resuscitation. 20% of patients experience hypovolemic shock.”

Yep. That’s exactly what happened to my granddaughter the first time she had oats. When she began to profusely vomit, my daughter-in-law rushed her to the hospital where she required IV fluids and an anti-vomiting medication. Scary stuff for both mom and baby! Thankfully, my grandson has avoided a hospital visit for food reactions.

Both kids are allergic to oats, grains (wheat, rice, corn, flax seed and barley) and eggs. On top of that, my grandson is allergic to peanuts and almonds. Eating nuts or eggs results in anaphylaxis, a severe or life-threatening reaction.

All that makes for some anxious moments for a grandparent. The weight of making sure they eat safe foods is heavy. Over time, I’ve gained a pretty good handle on it. I have food and snacks just for them. And yet . . . sometimes uncertainty creeps in. Thank goodness all it takes is a quick text to be sure.

I am 100% sure I’m not alone in this. If you think food allergies in kids are on the rise, you’re right. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates 1 in 13 children (8%), or 2 students per classroom, are affected with food allergies.

Prevention is the only solution to food allergies. My son and daughter-in-law do a great job of telling me what is safe. They made a list of foods that are in the danger zone, gave us an epi pen just in case, and wrote a letter outlining their allergies for us to give to a medical professional should the need arise. That’s some peace of mind for a grandparent.

My next comment seems like a no-brainer. But it’s worth saying: If your grandchild has food allergies, abide by the restrictions set by their parents.

That’s obvious, right? But I follow some FPIES groups on Facebook and am shocked at what some people post. Some of their parents (that’s you – a grandparent) either do not understand or disregard FPIES and food allergies. I can’t imagine! As a grandparent, safety is a #1 priority.

When I text my daughter-in-law for what must be the third or fourth time about the same food, I often preface it with an apology for not remembering. Her response is always “No problem. I appreciate that you ask.”

Beyond allergies, we need to do a good job of respecting parents’ preferences. Sure, my own kids ate bright blue push-pops that literally turned their poop green. (In hindsight, not the best choice. I’ll blame it on the lack of knowledge about the impact of food dye in our generation.)

But parents today are savvy and have access to so much information we never had. If they ask for limits on sugar or other foods, then respect that. It’s fun to buy the kids cookies and donuts, but not so fun for parents to deal with sugar-loaded balls of energy when they come home.

If we want to spend time with our grandchildren – and I know you do – then we need to respect their parents’ guidelines. Don’t worry, we can find plenty of other ways to spoil them (like hours of fun with us!).

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(If you want to learn more about FPIES, check out https://www.fpies.org.)