Grandmas don’t look like they used to

“Grandmas sure don’t look like they used to,” my mom said, giving me the once-over on our way to dinner.

And she was right. Trendy dress. Hair down. Full make-up. And, the pièce de resistance, a killer pair of heels. I was 60 and wearing my years in the best way I knew.

But, in the bigger picture (face it, at some point most of us eventually give up the heels), what she was really saying is:

Grandmas don’t live life like they used to.

We lunch with friends, go to yoga, open our favorite Bible app, travel, wear athleisure, use emojis appropriately 😊 and passionately care about the future of our world. (That goes for Grandpas, too.) The stereotypes of grandma knitting in her rocker wearing a house dress are long gone.

Most grandparents have lots of energy, often coupled with extra time. We want to be ACTive. And have purpose. We are in the perfect position to make a positive impACT on the little ones in our lives.

As a Christian grandparent, my goals are to disciple my grandchildren and participate in their lives to pass on a legacy of unconditional love. I want them to know they are loved – no matter what – by God and by me.

We each impactfully grandparent differently. If you’re looking for a formula, there isn’t one. You have your own unique style and talents.

Sometimes grandparents feel inadequate, ill-equipped or out of touch. That’s where a community of other grandparents and a resource, like Impactful Grandparenting, comes in.

Take a peek at how I intentionally plan a day with my school-age grandkids (ages 5-12) by checking out my Action Plans. Younger grandkids don’t require detailed plans, but I do like having stories, activities and crafts in mind to keep little minds and bodies busy.

What will it look like for you to intentionally connect with your grands?

It’s cool if you look or dress young, but it’s what you do to stay young at heart that enhances your relevance to younger generations.

• Learn a bit about their favorite musical artist. Be able to sing the chorus (G-rated, of course);
• Know a few details about famous players from their favorite sport;
• Go to a movie or play of their choice (age appropriate);
• Ice cream. You never go wrong with ice cream;
• Play with them! Wear the dress-up clothes. Chase them through a sprinkler. Caveat: If you really don’t enjoy an activity, don’t do it! Kids can spot a faker in a heartbeat. For example, I despise Hide-and-Go-Seek. The kids know I don’t like it. If they ask, I always say no;
• Ask them to help with tasks. Little hands love to feel valued and helpful;
• Listen. Really listen (remember, they can spot a faker). Ask questions.
• Share stories from your life. Once, following a comment my granddaughter made about a bully in her class, I described how I was bullied in fourth grade. We talked about what that felt like and it was a significant moment. I don’t think they ever thought about me being their age once.

A big part of Impactful Grandparenting is . . . being active! I realize some of you may have mobility or other health issues, so you will adapt your style of grandparenting to your abilities (future blog post coming). Kids will appreciate the efforts you are able to make.

Thankfully, I am in my 60s and walking 3-6 miles, strength training, cycling and going to yoga (not all on the same day!). It makes me feel young and, other than some extra pounds I’d like to lose, I am in good shape. I’m a firm believer in staying active in order to actively participate in the lives of grandchildren.

Who do I admire most at the gym? Not the beautifully sculpted young people. It’s the grandmas and grandpas slowly walking the track, relying on a cane and attached to oxygen. That’s tenacity.

The CDC recommends at least 150 minutes of moderate activity for adults 65 and older. That could be as simple as a half-hour walk, five days a week. Add in two days of muscle strengthening and you’re meeting CDC goals.

If you have stroller-aged grandkids, plop them in a stroller and walk to the park. Or around the block for some fresh air. Just get moving at a pace that’s right for you (please check with your doctor first if you start an exercise program).

And don’t forget about balance. According to the CDC, falls are the leading cause of injury for 65+ adults. I take a senior strength class twice a week. Admittedly, it is a blow to my ego to take a “senior” level class. But it keeps me from over-doing it with weights and forces balance work I’d never do on my own. Note: If you’ve taken a child in and out of a car seat lately, you know you need that balance and strength.

A side benefit of exercising is the example it sets for your grandchildren. Don’t even get me started on sedentary children. I love a good book, social media scroll or YouTube video as much as anyone, but the reports on kids and activity are scary. According to statistics released by the World Health Organization in August 2023, 81% of kids between the ages of 11 and 17 are now inactive, with girls most affected (85% are inactive, vs 78% of boys).

Isn’t that convicting? We not only need to get moving, but also encourage our grandkids to move.

It’s time to make your move toward the relationship with your grandchildren you’ve always wanted. You have a unique ability to impact your grandchildren’s lives. I’d love to hear what you do to create connection with your grands. We’re in this together. To share your ideas, email [email protected].

“Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children.” Alex Haley

Let’s start sprinkling stardust as we cherish, support and steward the next generations. Energize those relationships and create a legacy of love, faith and joy-filled memories.