Go ahead – dip your toe in.
Just do it! Begin your Impactful Grandparenting journey with these helpful suggestions.
Set the calendar
It is important to establish a routine. That makes it seem more official to the kids, helps parents with scheduling, and keeps you on track. Otherwise, things just seem to pop up and, the next thing you know, you haven’t gotten together for a while.
Designate one day a week. Or one day every other week. Or one Saturday a month. Or one morning a month. The key is intentionality. It’s not about the number of hours, it’s about the heart.
Make a plan
Once the calendar is set – make it happen! Go to the zoo. Get ice cream. Play a game. Make snowmen. The options are endless. I enjoy these “dates” and they definitely provide opportunities to develop relationship.
But I also like to have intentional times of prepared connection.
If you’re a planner, this will be fun. If you’re not, then I’ve done the planning for you. Impactful Grandparenting Action Plans can be adjusted to fit the time allotted, your activity level and your grandchildren’s interests and talents. Whether you have one grandchild or more, you can easily modify them according to your situation. Every plan begins with an introduction of the theme, Bible story and discussion time designed to cement Christian principles. The majority of the time is spent playing and learning together in various ways. In other words, memory-making!
For preschool ages, you can dial back Action Plans to their level. Or, create your own plans. Keep it simple. Include a Bible story and other books, games or crafts. Allow for some free play and get them moving. They (and you!) need a healthy outlet for all that energy. Never underestimate the value of getting outside. Fresh air lifts everyone’s spirits (even if it takes 20 minutes to put on coats, hats, boots and mittens).
Check out Make Your Impact for more details on planning your day.
Take photos
Lots of photos. These are priceless and ensure memories are preserved. Put a scrapbook together for the kids. I like to make photo books using Shutterfly, but keeping a traditional scrapbook together is fun, too.
Long-distance grandparenting
Five of my grandchildren live nearby and two moved from the area to Dallas area last year. I was thrown when they moved away. And, if I’m honest, I was scared about losing our relationship. Certainly it has changed, but I’m figuring it out as best I can.
If you don’t live close to your grands, coordinate with all the cousins for a Cousin Camp they will look forward to each year. Or, have each child come separately for some one-on-one time. Maybe you get the family together at a cabin by the lake and plan special activities with the kids. There’s no cookie-cutter solution.
Other options for long-distance grands include regularly connecting via FaceTime, phone calls or sending text messages. Kids love mail, too. Sending a surprise package is always a winner.
My grandson plays hockey and many of his games are live-streamed so we can watch them. If not, his mom is good about texting us videos and score updates. At the end of the game, I text him with a message related to the game. I want him to know I’m his fan. It’s not a lot, but it’s a touchpoint.
My granddaughter takes horseback riding lessons and participates in rodeo events. Her mom sends me videos and I text her later to let her know I watched her ride. I’d rather be with them in person, but at least it keeps us in contact.
Words of Wisdom
I’ve learned a few things along the way that I’d like to share. You know how the Bible (Eph. 4:15) tells us to speak truth in love? Here goes from my heart to yours:
- Grandparenting is not a competition. We all do it differently, in the ways that best fit our schedules and energy levels. As Theodore Roosevelt said, “comparison is the thief of joy.” And you want to experience joy. My grandchildren are blessed with amazing grandparents on both sides of the family. I’m truly happy and react with enthusiasm when the kiddos tell me about a fun experience with their other grandparents. Do I sometimes feel a twinge of jealousy? Yep. I’m human. But in my heart of hearts, I am happy for them to be so well loved.
- Grandparenting can be a meaningful focus of your life, but not top priority. We all know God comes first and spending time with Him is important. But after that, it sometimes gets a little fuzzy. I’m passionate about spending time with my grandchildren. But I’ve had to work to keep it in perspective. Ask my husband – we have had some robust “conversations” about this. Now I understand it’s important to him that I guard our Date Night. It’s sacred.
- Don’t expect your marriage partner to want to participate in grandparenting at the same level you do (notice I have Grammy Day – not Grammy and Papa Day). I do know some couples who equally participate and that’s awesome. Just don’t expect it. My husband joins in on his own terms, when and how he wants, without pressure from me.
- Be sure to maintain other important relationships and interests. It’s OK to occasionally skip yoga or cancel lunch plans to help watch grandkids, but it should be the exception not the rule. Most of us have more freedom than we’ve ever had before as we retire from busy career lives. Enjoy the freedom and live a little.
- Lastly, respect requests from the parents of your little ones. I am blessed to have children who give me a lot of license when it comes to my grandchildren. But I know plenty of grandparents who have restrictions about when they have the kids and what they do. It may cramp your style, but we do what we can to maintain relationships with our loved ones.